Love him or hate him, Dave Letterman has done some good interviews over the years . . . such as this 1987 gem where Crispin Glover (aka George McFly in Back to the Future) nearly karate kicks him in the head.
Well, last night’s sit down with Joaquin Phoenix was one for the books too. You won’t recognize him from the clip, but he is the Oscar-nominated actor from a couple of my favorite movies: Gladiator and Signs.
Dave doesn’t have a lot of patience for guests who come on the show blitzed, so it doesn’t take him long before he lets out the zingers, such as my personal favorite:
“So, what can you tell us about your days with the Unabomber?” HA!
The full interview seems to have been taken down from youtube, but here’s a highlights version:
As one who enjoys (purely for entertainment purposes) accounts of various ‘prophets-with-a-small-p’, I seized upon the above headline on Drudge the other day. All things considered, I thought the LA Times article was actually quite kind to Leeland F. Freeborn of Parowan, UT – it even conjured a few feelings of compassion in me (more on that later, after I’m done with the mockery part).
But as I said, I find self-proclaimed prophets fascinating. And so, in “honor” of Mr. Freeborn, a.k.a. the Parowan prophet, I thought I would post my top-ten signs you may be a false prophet:
Since I work really hard to put food on my family, sometimes I need a little levity at the end of a long day. As you can imagine, this clip is unimaginably funny . . .
Thank goodness I don’t have a camera on me 24/7, cuz my literacy level are appalling too!
From today’s news: “AP: Models wear creations by French fashion designer Pierre Cardin during the presentation of his entire Spring-Summer 2009 and Autumn-Winter 2009 collections at his villa in Theoule sur Mer, southern France, Monday, Oct. 6, 2008.”
Ok, I know I am no GQ, but SERIOUSLY, are you kidding me with this stuff?? They look like life-size Christmas tree ornaments! All due respect to Mr. Cardin and the rest of fashion’s elite, but I’ll be sticking to my Costco khakis and Mickey Mouse tees, thank you very much.
“FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) – Police say a 20-year-old woman faces an aggravated assault charge after she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a SWORD during an argument about him not doing the dishes. The woman was arrested Thursday afternoon at the couple’s apartment . . . The 21-year-old man told police that he became involved in an argument because the woman was upset that the dishes were not clean . . . During the ensuing struggle, the woman bit the man’s right shoulder and broke a picture frame across his face, causing visible cuts. . . The woman then grabbed an approximately 2-foot sword and swung it at him, but missed, police said.”
Wow. That’s some pretty serious domestic action. I have to assume the following was deleted from the article by AP editors prior to release:
“Producers from the Jerry Springer show arrived on site to immediately schedule the couple for their own episode, entitled: “You Didn’t Do the Dishes, So I’m Going to Kill You.” Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Whoot, whoot, whoot.”
But seriously, I’m curious: is anyone willing to share how they feel after reading this article? Are you:
a) Surprised, because this happened in Texas, which is normally a very calm and orderly state.
b) Surprised, because this didn’t happen in Utah.
c) Shocked, because you thought jph3 was the only weirdo who owns SWORDs.
d) Disappointed, because she used a SWORD instead of an assault rifle.
e) Spiritually Offended, because the article says something about doing dishes.
f) Ticked Off, because the man should have been arrested for refusing to do the dishes.
g) Satisfied, because he got what was commin’ to him.
h) Enlightened, because your spouse didn’t do the dishes last night either and you have a sword too.
i) Empowered, because when you swing a 2 foot sword, you don’t miss.
j) Relieved, because at least the picture frame didn’t cause INVISIBLE cuts. And we all know those are the worst kind . . .
k) Thankful, because this reminds you to buy more paper plates and cups next time you hit the market.
l) Curious, because you are wondering what she would have done if he had left the toilet seat up.
m) Indifferent, because Sarah Palin doesn’t do dishes.
n) Nauseous, because, along with those dishes, he probably left a big, globby, gunky, gooey hairball in the drain too. Bbbrbrbrbrbrbarfff!!!
o) Excited, because you are looking forward to that episode of Springer.
p) None of the Above. Please explain.
One thing my wife really digs about me is my fingernails. Yup, that’s right folks, the longer my guitar nails grow, the more she falls madly in love with me. You see, she and I met at BYU in the early 1990s – which was clearly the peak of the “strum your guitar outside a girl’s dorm no latter than 11:59pm so you don’t get reported to the honor code office for missing curfew” era. And guys with long fingernails on one hand were a hot commodity, especially those of us with denim shirts, braided-leather belts, and Bev Hills, 90210 sideburns. Sweet.
At a time when hair past the collar was a big no-no, fingernails past the knee definitely made a bold statement. Something like: “Ya, I’m in control of both my masculinity and my hygiene, but neither is more important than being a hum-and-strum James Taylor wannabe. Now, onward to Mama’s Café for open mic night!”
Fast forward to today, my nails are still quite fab, and I’m certain not a day goes by wherein my better half doesn’t swoon* at the sight of them – particularly after spending the holiday weekend weeding flower beds sans gloves. (Oh yeah, we’re talkin’ lord of the black rings. Pssst, hey single guys: FYI, popular women love that sort of thing. Here’s proof.) Anyway, I suppose I can admit my built-in finger picks get a wee bit out of control from time to time. Whose don’t, right? Well, today, as I prepared for an important meeting, I did in fact notice my hand kinda sorta looked like this dude’s. Nice.
Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell
Brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we are going to be friends
Walk with me, Suzy Lee through the park and by the tree
We will rest upon the ground and look at all the bugs we found
then safely walk to school without a sound
Here we are, no one else, we walked to school all by ourselves
There’s dirt on our uniforms, from chasing all the ants and worms
We clean up and now its time to learn
Numbers, letters, learn to spell, nouns, books, show and tell
At playtime we will throw the ball, back to class, through the hall
Teacher marks our height, against the wall
And we don’t notice any time pass, we don’t notice anything
We sit side by side in every class, teacher thinks I sound funny
But she likes the way we sing
Tonight I’ll dream in my bed, when silly thoughts go to my head
About the bugs and alphabet, and when I wake tomorrow I’ll bet
That you and I will walk together again
So, just for fun, I took a quick look at the schedule for the upcoming Sunstone Symposium, and I noticed the following presentation tucked away amongst the various discussions of Heavenly Mother, Gay Marriage, Women Who Know, etc.:
Title:Mormon Nudists: Naked and Not Ashamed
Abstract: “With extreme policies on wearing temple garments and dressing modestly, the LDS Church seems an unlikely spawning ground for a subculture of nudists. Yet they exist, and in greater numbers than most people probably realize. D. Micheal Martindale, a prominent activist for naturism, will present the rationale, spirituality, and poignant stories of members of the Church who believe in being socially nude with one another despite living every day in an environment that condemns such a practice.” [Emphasis added. Abstract, indeed. And please note for the record: I am NOT making this up.]
This must have sparked my inner Utahn, ’cuz I instantly thought to myself: “what the flippin’ fetch is this freaker talking about?!?!” And then I got to wondering:
Will they begin this meeting with an opening . . . flash: by invitation??
Followed by an opening hymn: A Poor Wayfaring Man Sans Briefs??
Then will members have the opportunity to bare their . . . er, um, uh . . . nudimonies?? And share every fiber of their being??
Will there be a special musical number, such as: Ere you left your room this morning, did you think to (put on your pants)??
And maybe they’ll close with a rousing chorus of “God be with you till we strip again”??
What would be the dress code for this session? Sunday breast? (sorry, couldn’t resist)
Say, where would a latter-day nudie missionary pin his name tag? OUCH!!
Not an exact quote, but this reminds me of Genisis 3, 10-11: “Who told thee that thou (shouldst be) naked? Hast thou eaten the fruit of the tree of (eternal loonieness)?”
And what was that other scripture? Nekkedness never was happiness, or something??
On a positive note, I suppose this is one way to avoid the lure of ‘costly apparel’. And I guess even mothers who know wouldn’t have to iron any more dresses. Phew.
But, so much for the Savior’s counsel to clothe the naked.
So there ya have it folks: the church of latter-day nudism has officially been uncovered. And the unadorned truth is, this is the wackiest thing I have ever heard of, hands (not pants) down. Great job, Sunstone, for bringing such thought-provoking scholarship to bare.
Ahhhh . . . nothing like a little ^%$ fragrance to freshen things up a bit.
OK, so, I saw this picture and, I am ashamed to say, I laughed out loud. I don’t know why . . . I know it’s totally silly, and not even really THAT funny. But nonetheless, given the mood I am in today, it made me giggle.
Question #1: Is laughing at something like this a bad thing?
Question #2: If so, how bad is it?
Question #3: Is posting something like this on a blog and propagating it for others to see a bad (or even worse) thing?
Question #4: Can I giggle at stuff like this and still feel good about myself?
Question #5: How much light-mindedness is too much?
I’ve been paying some attention to all of the modifications I have made to my environmental behavior over the past few years. Admittedly, the list is not as long as it should be, but I had to chuckle when I saw these hilarious cartoons that mom sent me (along with many more that I have posted in Funny Fotos).
What’s interesting is trying to sort through the real reasons why I am making any changes in the first place. Why did we trade in our humongous SUV for a much more fuel-efficient mini-van? Why will I be riding the train to work more this year? Why am I swapping out light bulbs? Why am I letting the grass grow a little longer before mowing and watering? (Well, that’s probably just laziness. But hey, it’s better for the planet, so I suppose I don’t have to feel guilty about being slothful?)
And so, I wonder. Is it economics or environmentality? Is it the EPA or the ROI?
Is it ok to have both motives in mind as we all shift our behaviors around to one degree (harhar) or another? Or, are all us “johnny-green-lately” types really just paying lip service to the planet cuz now it makes financial sense?
Any thoughts???
PS: As I’m thinking through this, I’m setting aside the debate of carbon’s role in actually warming the planet, and focusing on more of the conservational aspects of environmental stewardship.
