Targeting the Prize

A recent episode of The Office reminded me of a corporate leadership conference I had to attend several years ago – you know, the kind where various gurus take the stage and give the be-all-you-can-be spiels meant to motivate and “maximize potential” and such. 

In starting things off, the keynote guru defined the most important step to achieving career goals: “Targeting the PRIZE”.  Or in other words, to “succeed”, we need to openly declare where we want to end up.  Sorta like Covey’s ‘begin with the end in mind’, except this particular guru was quite sure he invented the idea from scratch.  Nice.

And so, with his whiter-than-white Fortune-100 smile, he cajoled each member of the audience into stating his or her most sought-after title, position, or role.  Then one-by-one, the obvious answers came out with way too much enthusiasm: “CEO!”, “Company President!”, “Chairman of the Board!”, “Chief Counsel!”, Woohoo!”, etc, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah.

Though stated with much less fanfare, I felt my answer was also obvious: “Dad”. 

Pausing a second for the crickets to chirp, I took note of the mixed reactions – and FYI, the stare-backs turned out to be the most educational part of this conference.  Of the 35 or so in attendance, I would say that about half simply smiled politely – the kind of smile that some people give when you take a screaming child out of church: equal parts “oh that’s nice” and “glad that’s not me”. 

I also noticed a half-dozen or so rolled their eyes in open protest, and interestingly, they were the students in the front rows, hanging on the guru’s every word, designing corporate treasure maps in their leather-bound notepads. 

Several others just laughed out loud, as if I was making some sort of silly joke.

But a few, including the BYU grad sitting next to me, gave me a that’s-what-I-was-going-to-say look, at which point we connected with mental high-fives.

As for the keynote guru, he was most certainly ready for this typically atypical answer.  But his rehearsed response disturbed me a bit: “Thank you!” he said with plenty of jazz, “I love it when people think outside the box!  Next . . .” 

Hmmmm.  Outside the box???  Seriously?  Why is dad-ness “outside the box” thinking?  At that moment I wished myself out of that box of a conference room. 

In fairness, I suppose I know what he meant . . . the box he was referring to was the four walls of that room and/or the words of that particular question – all in the context of corporate-ladder climbing.  Still, a deeper message traveled along with his words – i.e. the real and understood sub-text: There’s a place for this (success) and a place for that (family), and, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep them separated into the boxes our society has designed for them.

Sigh.  I’ve always known that our society builds walls that separate secular / temporal goals from what I would label as my ‘eternal goals’.  And sadly it’s true that we often have no problem using the boxes in which we package our values – pulling our professional box off the shelf when we leave for work (or school or whatever), then exchanging it with our family box when we get home, etc. 

But no matter, there will always be people who undervalue the role of the parent for the sake of corporate mastery or other similar pursuits.  I can’t do much about that. 

One thing’s for certain: This world has nothing to offer me more important than dad-ness.  No amount of money, title, or power can reproduce the joy my family brings me.  Like the feelings I get when Sofia hands me a book, smiles, and hops in my lap, or when Audrey teaches me something I never knew, or when Olivia giggles.  You just can’t buy that.  And no other accomplishment can substitute for it.  Period. 
 
So, to make a long story just a skosh longer, please allow me to officially Target my PRIZE.  It’s simple: all I want is my family.  And the only legacy I plan on leaving this world is a gravestone that reads: “Here lies JPH3, beloved husband, father and son.”

That’s my goal.  Nothing more.

The other day, JJ asked a question completely out of the blue while riding in the car, quietly pondering to himself:

“Dad, which is greater: Infinity or Beyond?”

LOL . . . Try putting that in a box.