Here’s a gem from recent headlines:
“FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) – Police say a 20-year-old woman faces an aggravated assault charge after she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a SWORD during an argument about him not doing the dishes. The woman was arrested Thursday afternoon at the couple’s apartment . . . The 21-year-old man told police that he became involved in an argument because the woman was upset that the dishes were not clean . . . During the ensuing struggle, the woman bit the man’s right shoulder and broke a picture frame across his face, causing visible cuts. . . The woman then grabbed an approximately 2-foot sword and swung it at him, but missed, police said.”
Wow. That’s some pretty serious domestic action. I have to assume the following was deleted from the article by AP editors prior to release:
“Producers from the Jerry Springer show arrived on site to immediately schedule the couple for their own episode, entitled: “You Didn’t Do the Dishes, So I’m Going to Kill You.” Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Whoot, whoot, whoot.”
But seriously, I’m curious: is anyone willing to share how they feel after reading this article? Are you:
a) Surprised, because this happened in Texas, which is normally a very calm and orderly state.
b) Surprised, because this didn’t happen in Utah.
c) Shocked, because you thought jph3 was the only weirdo who owns SWORDs.
d) Disappointed, because she used a SWORD instead of an assault rifle.
e) Spiritually Offended, because the article says something about doing dishes.
f) Ticked Off, because the man should have been arrested for refusing to do the dishes.
g) Satisfied, because he got what was commin’ to him.
h) Enlightened, because your spouse didn’t do the dishes last night either and you have a sword too.
i) Empowered, because when you swing a 2 foot sword, you don’t miss.
j) Relieved, because at least the picture frame didn’t cause INVISIBLE cuts. And we all know those are the worst kind . . .
k) Thankful, because this reminds you to buy more paper plates and cups next time you hit the market.
l) Curious, because you are wondering what she would have done if he had left the toilet seat up.
m) Indifferent, because Sarah Palin doesn’t do dishes.
n) Nauseous, because, along with those dishes, he probably left a big, globby, gunky, gooey hairball in the drain too. Bbbrbrbrbrbrbarfff!!!
o) Excited, because you are looking forward to that episode of Springer.
p) None of the Above. Please explain.
