Back to School

Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell
Brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we are going to be friends

Walk with me, Suzy Lee through the park and by the tree
We will rest upon the ground and look at all the bugs we found
then safely walk to school without a sound

Here we are, no one else, we walked to school all by ourselves
There’s dirt on our uniforms, from chasing all the ants and worms
We clean up and now its time to learn

Numbers, letters, learn to spell, nouns, books, show and tell
At playtime we will throw the ball, back to class, through the hall
Teacher marks our height, against the wall

And we don’t notice any time pass, we don’t notice anything
We sit side by side in every class, teacher thinks I sound funny
But she likes the way we sing

Tonight I’ll dream in my bed, when silly thoughts go to my head
About the bugs and alphabet, and when I wake tomorrow I’ll bet
That you and I will walk together again

Cause I can tell that we are going to be friends

I’m Goin’ on the Michael Phelps Diet!

I’ve been gobbling up the Olympic coverage this year, as much as time has allowed anyway.  All the stories, the controversies, the triumphs, the failures . . . man, I really love these games.  Great stuff.  Can’t wait for London in 2012. 

In particular, the Michael Phelps phenomenon has really wetted my appetite for water sports.  Seriously folks, did you see the coverage of the 4 x 100 free vs. those snooty Frenchmen?!?!  Wow . . . words fail.  Before this event, I had never jumped up and down over a swim meet.  But at one o‘clock in the morning no less, I woke the kids up I was hollering so loud.

Oh, and speaking of Phelps, and appetites, I saw this article the other day about his 12,000-calorie diet, which apparently includes:

Breakfast:
- three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, fried onions and mayonnaise
- two cups of coffee
- a five-egg omelet
- a bowl of grits
- three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar
- and three chocolate-chip pancakes

Lunch:
- a pound of enriched pasta
- two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo
- and about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks

Dinner:
- another pound of pasta
- an entire pizza
- another 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

Sheesh, it’s really amazing what the human body can metabolize when it’s in peak shape.

But anyway, like the big wave that knocked me delirious on the beach in Hawaii when I was a kid, the swimming at this year’s games – along with everything else (even the ping pong) – has really floored me.  I’m even double stoked that my wife is a very well-trained competitive swimmer and has been teaching the kids all the tricks of the trade.  So watch out for jph4 in 2020!

Oh and FYI, I even went to the gym on Saturday.  So that PROVES there must be something in the water.

Sweet.

A Gr8 8/8/08 for Four

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Johnny Quatro had himself a great birthday.  Even Darth Vader had a fun time. . .

 

Many thanks go out to those who participated near and far, and may the force be with you, always.

Mormon Nudists: Naked and Not Ashamed

So, just for fun, I took a quick look at  the schedule for the upcoming Sunstone Symposium, and I noticed the following presentation tucked away amongst the various discussions of Heavenly Mother, Gay Marriage, Women Who Know, etc.:

Title: Mormon Nudists: Naked and Not Ashamed

Abstract: “With extreme policies on wearing temple garments and dressing modestly, the LDS Church seems an unlikely spawning ground for a subculture of nudists.  Yet they exist, and in greater numbers than most people probably realize.   D. Micheal Martindale, a prominent activist for naturism, will present the rationale, spirituality, and poignant stories of members of the Church who believe in being socially nude with one another despite living every day in an environment that condemns such a practice.”  [Emphasis added.  Abstract, indeed.  And please note for the record: I am NOT making this up.]

This must have sparked my inner Utahn, ’cuz I instantly thought to myself: “what the flippin’ fetch is this freaker talking about?!?!”  And then I got to wondering:

• Will they begin this meeting with an opening . . . flash: by invitation??
• Followed by an opening hymn: A Poor Wayfaring Man Sans Briefs??
• Then will members have the opportunity to bare their . . . er, um, uh . . . nudimonies??  And share every fiber of their being??
• Will there be a special musical number, such as: Ere you left your room this morning, did you think to (put on your pants)??
• And maybe they’ll close with a rousing chorus of “God be with you till we strip again”??
• What would be the dress code for this session?  Sunday breast?  (sorry, couldn’t resist)
• Say, where would a latter-day nudie missionary pin his name tag?  OUCH!!
• Not an exact quote, but this reminds me of Genisis 3, 10-11: “Who told thee that thou (shouldst be) naked?  Hast thou eaten the fruit of the tree of (eternal loonieness)?”
• And what was that other scripture?  Nekkedness never was happiness, or something??
• On a positive note, I suppose this is one way to avoid the lure of ‘costly apparel’.  And I guess even mothers who know wouldn’t have to iron any more dresses.   Phew.
• But, so much for the Savior’s counsel to clothe the naked.

So there ya have it folks: the church of latter-day nudism has officially been uncovered.  And the unadorned truth is, this is the wackiest thing I have ever heard of, hands (not pants) down.   Great job, Sunstone, for bringing such thought-provoking scholarship to bare.