Happy Earth Day

Whenever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky,
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by,
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by a lilac tree,
I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heavenly Father created for me.

He gave me my eyes that I might see
The color of butterfly wings.
He gave my ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart;
I thank Him rev’rently
For all his creations, of which I’m a part.
Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me.

Oftentimes it’s the simplest things that make life beautiful.

 

A Whole New Kind of Coffee ‘Bean’

The following random thoughts came to mind when I read this headline this morning: Cat Poop Coffee Hits $100 a Cup in the UK:

• First off, GROSS!
• Second, Dem Brits is Whack.
• Third, and I thought coffee culture in Seattle was nuts.
• Fourth, Juan Valdez must be turing over in his grave.
• Fifth, will there be a TV commercial where they go to a restaurant and do the whole “we’ve replaced these people’s Folgers Crystals with . . . . cat poop.  Let’s see how they react.” thing.
• Sixth, I guess this can’t be any worse than eating horse meat??
• Seventh, I can’t decide what bothers me more, the cat poop, or the $100 per cup. 
• Eighth, on second thought, $100 per cup!?!?!?!!!! That bothers me more. 
• Ninth, does this stuff count as BIO fuel?  Cuz if so, $100 per cup is still cheaper than gas in LA.
• Tenth, I love toilet humor.
• Eleventh, is there a decaffeinated version? (Or is it deCATinated – HAR!)
• Twelfth, is it OK for Mormons to drink decaf cat poop?  Is there Herbal Cat Poop?
• Thirteenth, Winnie the Pooh should really get in on this racket.
• Fourteenth, does Cat Stevens drink this stuff???  He lives in the UK, right?
• Fifteenth, Sigfried and Roy drink this stuff for sure.
• Sixteenth, Calvin & Hobbes would not approve.
• Seventeenth, I can’t wait to see CATS in Tucson next month.
• Eighteenth, Dem Brits is Really, Really Whack.
• Nineteenth, thank goodness for section 89.
• Twentieth, I bet Walmart sells this stuff for much, much less – like, no higher than $99.50!!

Sweet!

“What Children Know”: A Child’s Rebuttal to Elder Ballard’s Conference Talk

Like many educated defenders of truth and equality, I was concerned by several of the statements in Elder Ballard’s conference talk this Sunday, including:

Now you children please listen to me, because there are some simple things you can do to help your mother. You can pick up your toys when you’re finished playing with them. And when you get a little older, you can make your bed, help with the dishes, and do other chores without being asked.


I would like to encourage you all to read, ponder and then sign the following declaration.  Let’s all make sure our children’s voices are heard, just as the folks at whatwomenknow.org!!

Guess the Mystery Meat: Mr. Ed Would Not Approve

My recent business trip to Japan included one mysterious meal after another.  I, of course, took many pictures of each dish, mainly for insurance purposes.

So, how about this: An awesome* prize goes to the commenter who guesses the type of meat featured in this picture.  Hint: Each piece is raw, and it all came from the same animal.

* = Just to clarify, ’awesome’ in this post actually means ‘totally lame’. 

---

Congratulations to Carol and Emily for both correctly guessing the Mystery Meat.  Yes, it’s true: Horse is the correct answer.  

This particular group dinner consisted of no fewer than 10 courses of horse (there’s a play on words in there somewhere) prepared in various ways: Raw (as seen in the picture, well, er, um both pictures, I guess), boiled, BBQed, over rice, etc.  The raw stuff was a bit challenging, particularly the neck fat – eeek.  But, it was an interesting experience.

Carol & Emily, for your prize, I am attaching this fantastic picture of Mr. Ed Surfing.  Sweet!

Prince Joe Eboh and the Church of the Painted Breast

Imagine my delight when I opened up my email and discovered that I just won ₤3.5 million from the UK lottery.  YIPPEE.  Yee Haw.  Even though I have never played the UK (or any) lotto, it looks like I am now set for life, and here’s the proof:

“UK LOTTERY BOARD – We are pleased to inform you that have won 3,500,000 GBP in the UK Nat Lottery Draw held on the 29th March 2008. For more information, please contact claims agent for more information:  Mr. Richard Green, Fiduciary claims agent @ webcontactoffice008@gmail.com

Sincerely
Mr. Norris Warner.
UK National Lottery Promo”

See?!?!  Too legit to quit, right?!?!

Ok, ok, even though I am quite certain that everything that comes from the web is 100% honest and safe, something deep down inside my heart of hearts tells me I should hold off quitting my job until I do a bit o’ basic fact checking first. 

Which, naturally, brings me to Prince Joe Eboh and the Church of the Painted Breast.  You see, Joe is a fine example of an international entrepreneur.  Clearly he is a prince of the highest distinction, and, as the BBC notes in his true-life “conversion story”, (a must read!!!), he is now a member of a very select holy order.  Sweet!

Seriously though, it amazes me that scams and scammers like this still seem to run rampant, and appearantly all over the world.  But worse, I just simply can’t believe that US citizens have been taken for $200 million!  Incredible!  I am not sure who is more at fault, Prince Joe Eboh, or the people who agree to send him the $18,000 “transaction fee” before he delivers their millions??  Good grief.  As my mother always says, “There’s just no SENSE in this!”

Please also cautiously visit 419eater.com for some unbelievable stories from the “scam-baiters” who go after the Prince Joes of the world.  (Please note: though absolutely hilarious, some of the posts on this site are pretty irreverent.)

Anyway, as for my personal UK Lotto winnings, I responded to Sirs Warner and Green with a very excited tone, and I’ll let you know as soon as my loot arrives.  Meanwhile, I promise to split my winnings with anyone who loans me the $18 large for the transaction fee.  Any takers???

JPH3